Make a Shift, Faith in Caregiving and Beyond: Stories of Hope with Dr. Melissa Glass

What happens when a medical professional becomes the primary caregiver for their own parent? Dr. Melissa Glass, a doctorate trained registered nurse and John Maxwell certified coach, takes us through her profound journey of caring for her mother during the pandemic's darkest days.

The caregiver journey often begins unexpectedly. For Dr. Glass, it started with long-distance care as her fiercely independent mother battled health challenges in Louisiana. When COVID-19 changed everything in 2020, Dr. Glass brought her mother to live with her in Texas while simultaneously pursuing her doctorate and managing a household. Her mother's complex medical needs—end-stage renal disease requiring dialysis, uncontrolled diabetes, and complications leading to an amputation—created a perfect storm of caregiving intensity.

Despite her medical expertise, Dr. Glass discovered that caring for family introduces emotional complexities professional training can't prepare you for. "Even working in healthcare... I never understood how do you even find time to take care of yourself?" she reflects candidly. Her story illuminates the universal struggle caregivers face: balancing expertise with familial relationships while maintaining boundaries and self-care.

The most touching revelations come through Dr. Glass's description of their final holiday season together. Her mother, typically camera-shy, allowed precious photos and videos that now provide comfort in grief. "Sometimes when I just need a little comfort to want to hear my mother's voice... I don't mourn over them as much as I use it as a comfort," she shares, offering wisdom about documentation that every caregiver should hear.

After her mother's peaceful transition in January 2021, Dr. Glass developed the powerful SHIFT framework (Scripture, Holy Spirit, Illuminate, Faith, Testimony) that guided her healing journey. Her story reminds us that caregiving, while tremendously challenging, often becomes the crucible where our deepest spiritual growth occurs.

Join us for this moving conversation about medical caregiving, capturing memories, finding personalized self-care, and discovering God's presence even in our darkest moments. Connect with Dr. Glass on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram to continue the conversation about resilience through caregiving's most difficult seasons.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Season of Caring Podcast
• 1:41 Dr. Melissa's Caregiving Journey
• 6:51 Cherished Memories with Mom
• 11:10 The Challenge of Self-Care
• 15:31 How God Showed Up
• 22:02 Finding Healing Through Faith
• 23:51 Advice for Current Caregivers

Transcript

Rayna Neises: [00:00:00] Welcome to A Season of Caring Podcast where we share stories of hope with family caregivers. I'm Rayna Neises, your host, and I'm looking forward to sharing stories of hope with you so that you can find God in the midst of your caregiving season. Today I'm excited to introduce you to Dr. Melissa Glass. She is a passionate coach, trainer, speaker, and future author who's dedicated to inspiring growth resilience and transformation. As a certified John Maxwell team member, Melissa brings proven leadership strategies to individuals and organizations empowering them to unlock their full potential. She's currently writing an impactful book that weaves together personal stories of faith, perseverance in leadership. Beyond professional work as a doctor prepared registered nurse, she actively serves at a local church in Mansfield, Texas. Using her gifts to support health ministry focused on health, faith, and community empowerment with a heart of service and a [00:01:00] commitment to lifelong learning. Dr. Glass speaks boldly about overcoming adversity, embracing change, and living intentionally. Whether through coaching sessions, workshops, or keynote messages, she inspires others to shift their mindset, embrace their calling, and their light in the world. Welcome, Dr. Melissa. It's so good to have you here today.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Thank you. Thank you, Rayna. Thank you. It's a privilege to be here with you today. 

Rayna Neises: Well, I'm excited to have you share with our audience a little bit about your caregiving and what that's looked like for you.

Dr. Melissa Glass: My pleasure. I'm excited about it.

Rayna Neises: Start off by telling us a little about who you cared for and what that looked like.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Sure. So I, care for my mother. Actually, care for my mother to move her here to Texas. she was originally independent living in Louisiana, which is where I was born and raised. and so, in 2020 When life took a change for many of us, it [00:02:00] also definitely took a change for us. And so she had to come and live with me, prior to that.

Um, as we know, we wanna let our parents be as independent as they can. She started having some challenges actually in 2014, but she really wanted to stay in Louisiana, so I would go back and forth to healthcare for her up until 2020.

Rayna Neises: That season it looks different just like seasons do. Right.And that's part of the reason why I use that word that we have to make those adjustments that we start and that long distance caregiving is really tough. You had quite a drive between the two places and then, my goodness, going through COVID.

Definitely changed everything for you. So tell us a little bit more about what, at this point, what kind of needs your mom has and what that looks 

Dr. Melissa Glass: Most definitely. So, the pandemic hit and we all were just confused about what are we gonna do? 

Rayna Neises: Exactly.

Dr. Melissa Glass: So, my mom, took sick and actually she was end stage renal disease, which means she was [00:03:00] on dialysis. And so the dialysis center called me because at that time, that's when we were doing temperature checks on everybody, before they enter. And so they did a temperature check and her fever was high. Because I worked in healthcare at the time and we all were so puzzled, I immediately thought it was covid. But it was not covid. a quite a bit of things going on. So of course, you know, no one wants to go to the hospital. So of course my mom was trying to tell the nurses, don't call my daughter. I don't call the, ambulance. Andso when they called me I said, yes, you have to call. 'cause her fever was definitely high. And, of course I thought it was covid. So they took her to the emergency room there locally in Louisiana. And so, what was is my mom was type two diabetic, very uncontrolled. Not managed very well. And so with that, she ended up with, a septic toe and ended up having to have an amputation. So it just really started [00:04:00] from there.

I'm a registered nurse, and you try to, tell your family members and you try to educate even your patients. But, things are a little bitdeeper than we can imagine, right? with that being said, her disease process progressed and she ended up with the amputation. that was when they were telling us no travel.

Rayna Neises: Oh, 

Dr. Melissa Glass: we were working through all ofthat.

Rayna Neises: that was a lot.

Dr. Melissa Glass: It was a lot,

Rayna Neises: I imagine it's even harder because I know one of the biggest challenges as I lead support groups and talk to caregivers is just the knowledge we know and we can't get the person we're trying to care for. To implement. Right. it has to be so much harder knowing at a whole different level like you do medically all of the impacts.

But it's so tough, even as a caregiver to take care of ourselves and we hear the same things from our doctors, and I always.Just encourage people to [00:05:00] have grace with the person they're caring for, because it is hard, it's hard to embrace those lifestyle changes and do the things that we hear and know that we should do, but something like a life change like that definitely wakes you up pretty quickly, probably.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Most definitely. And as you stated, it is even harder when you work in it and you know the risk factors, right? And so sometimes as healthcare providers, because we know we can be, very scared as well as we can kinda, you know, we have to look at how we communicate that to our loved I learned then, and I still reflect on it about how you can communicate in a way that would empower them to own their own healthcare versus you trying to dictate, because that's what I found is not the good part of it because they're still adults. She was still my mother. And so you cannot dictate that care. So you have to communicate it in [00:06:00] a way that's educational, but also allow them to be empowered so that they can do it themselves.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, it's such a good point. I always say no one wants to be told what to do. It doesn't matter. Even when they're, little kid, right? They still, buck up you're trying to boss 'em around, right? So it's tough. I think that's one of the hard things about caregiving is,that nature that both of us have, both the person who's caregiving and the person who's receiving. We have that nature to try to stand up for ourselves. I've never talked to a caregiver who takes care of somebody who's not stubborn.

Dr. Melissa Glass: That's right.

Rayna Neises: It's one of the first things you just don't understand my mom's so stubborn, and you're like, Uhhuh. Yeah, I haven't heard that before.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Exactly.

Rayna Neises: Well, share with us a favorite caregiving story that you have.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Sure. So, one of my. memorable and caregiving moments was, I brought her here to Texas in 2020. And so right [00:07:00] at the end of 2020, of course, we all know we weren't able to really have big gatherings anymore, but we had a very, intimate moment, and I'm just so thankful, right?

We don't know the plan, but God knows the plan and so he allowed me to have. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's, with my mother. But going 2021 and so with that being said, my mom was not a camera person. She was very talkative and she was a big jokester. whereas love pictures, I love videos. my mom did not. And so, on Christmas, I did the cooking. She even stayed up with me, you know, just giving instructions. Uhwith that, we got up the next morning and she got, I got a dress. And so she allowed my daughter something she had not been able to do to put makeup on. And so she got all made up and pretty.

And so my mom and I. I had a little name for her. I called her Baby Bop. And then I [00:08:00] also, I referenced my mom and my aunts as senior divas. So I would always tell, I said, well, you the senior diva looking really good. And so with that, she was dozing off and, 'cause I knew she wasn't gonna really let me get a picture. But she dozing off. And so I had a little music going and I said, come on Baby Bop. I said, break it down. And so she act like she was moving her head to the beat. I still have that video. And so I am thankful, that I have that video because , I still have her voice. I still have it. 'cause she was telling me, no, I'm not gonna dance. And so, I still have that So sometimes when I just need a little comfort to want to hear my mother's voice. At first it was difficult, but as you go through your phase of healing, kind of take those memories and you don't, I don't mourn over 'em as much as I use it as a comfort. And just to hear her voice. Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, I love that. I do encourage caregivers to take pictures and to have videos, and not just take pictures of the [00:09:00] person you love, but with the person you love.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Yes, I have those as well. We took pictures together for Christmas as well as we took pictures together, for Thanksgiving. and the other thing that was so interesting is I was in school at the time, I was trying to finish up my doctorate, and, life would have it again, God knows best, I had to have a virtual graduation. To this day, I know it wasn't nothing but God caring for my mom, the pandemic and in graduate school. I had my last son, he was the baby that was a senior in high school all of this, you know,

Rayna Neises: hmm.

Dr. Melissa Glass: learning, it was a big shift in change

Rayna Neises: Yeah. 

Dr. Melissa Glass: blessed it be, I was able to graduate virtually and I even have pictures with my mom holding my degree and it was, it's just precious. Like you say, 

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Dr. Melissa Glass: capture enough memories, 

Rayna Neises: Yeah. It's hard because in the season it doesn't feel like it's ever gonna end, and so you don't realize how much you're [00:10:00] gonna cherish those. Since I was only 16 when my mom was diagnosed. I have hardly any pictures of us together because mom was the designated picture taker in the family. And so even growing up, there's pictures of me and my dad, and of course tons of my sister and I, but those high school age pictures when mom was struggling more than, there was less and less of those and hardly any of her and I together.

So, we're coming up on Mother's Day, and it's one of those times that a lot of people are posting pictures. And I have one favorite one that I post over and over again because I really don't have very many of the two of us, and certainly, even the four of us, my sister and my dad and I.

So, I did a little better with my dad, because he just passed in 2018. But it definitely is something you just don't always think about unless you're just a person who takes pictures of everything. I have friends like that, but I'm just not one of those people. So I've tried to do better with, family members now because it definitely can bring a [00:11:00] lot of comfort later.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Most definitely. I totally agree with you.

Rayna Neises: So what would be one thing you would say surprised you about caregiving?

Dr. Melissa Glass: the one thing that surprised me was, you know, we hear it a lot. people say, caregivers take care of yourself. Caregivers take care of yourself. But even working in healthcare, and I think that's the part that is even more, even harder and why I'm willing to even, share this, my story and share this story Is to say, but even myself, I never understood how do you even find time to do it right? How do you even find time to take care of yourself? Because if I wasn't working, I was caring for my mom. And then even when you have a moment. Where you're not caring, you're still thinking about what can I do or, or what questions should I be writing out for the doctor, or what do I need to do next to make sure she has the best care? And so I would [00:12:00] say as a one that was told that, and I did get sick afterwards and didn't do a great job of caring for myself, is that I would say, just enjoy the moments. But find moments where you can focus on yourself and whatever that is for you, let it be for you.

Because for me, I never identified it. So even if it is journaling, or even if it's just having some quiet time, whatever it is, let it be something that's personable for you and that helps you. Because for me, I, I, I really never. How to do that. And so that was really surprising being one that, um, was, you know, aware of health conscious things in doing those type of things. 

Rayna Neises: I think that's such a good point because we do hear self-care defined in certain ways or there's lots of different tips and ideas out there, and I throw those out there as [00:13:00] well, through social media and just newsletters and things, trying to give people ideas. But the most important thing is it needs to nourish you if.

It's not working. And so keep looking, keep exploring and keep trying different things. I know for myself, one of the things that I found that helped me go to sleep at night was actually reading fiction and I told. Sent my support group not too long ago.

I said, you know, I think the reason why it helped was because I joined someone else's reality and I got into their story and into their world and I could fall asleep not thinking about all the things I was trying to solve or all the things that were going on in my world, but rather that escape. And so I think sometimes we don't even realize some of the things that we do that are self-care.

Just those little things that actually help to nourish us, but you really do need to find those things and realize when you're feeling like you're running on empty, that you need something and keep exploring until you [00:14:00] find something that helps to fill your cup.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Most definitely. Most definitely. and I would say, that for me, um, interesting enough is, you know, I really say God helped me go back and find for me now, I. I'm very intentional, right? Because sometimes you don't know what you don't know.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. 

Dr. Melissa Glass: I am very intentional and you mentioned reading at the time with the pandemic and the way I was working, I didn't think there was ever a time to span that I could read right.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm. 

Dr. Melissa Glass: so, but now I am very intentional and I'm like you, I went back to my childhood. 'cause I used to love reading. But I went back and now I've started back reading and I love fiction, non-fiction. I love the various genres and I love to even share, and, talk with others about it.

but the other thing I picked up now is coloring. Coloring is like one of the best things that has helped me through my healing here. And so, can't say it enough to caregivers, [00:15:00] find what works for you. If one thing don't work, don't stop searching until you find that one thing

Rayna Neises: Yeah, and I also love the wheel that talks about all of our needs. We're not only one dimensional, so we need that spiritual nourishment. We need the creative outlets, we need the physical outlets, letting our bodies release that stress through physical exertion. There's so many different things, and you really do have to kind of find different ones in each one that work.

And sometimes then as your caregiving changes, you're not available to do that. So you need to keep looking for something new. So again, it's a great challenge how do we care for ourselves? And again, it needs to nourish you. It needs to add, to not be one more thing you dread.

Right.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Exactly. 

Rayna Neises: Well, tell us, how God show up for you in your caregiving?

Dr. Melissa Glass: Well, he definitely, showed I've, you know, definitely instances where he was planning, for my mom and I to have these memorable moments as [00:16:00] well as he was always providing and making a way, and I. Putting in my life as well that could help me. 'cause that's the other thing is that you have to have a circle or a community, that will help you.

And so as much as I know sometime as caregivers and women, we try to take it all on and we wanna be super well. Superwoman, but he definitely put people such as my aunts and cousins and even people that worked in healthcare with me. That really helped me. but the way that God really showed up was, um, my mom had been hospitalized on January the 11th is when she got discharged of 2021. And so I brought her home. she was acting different. know, again, being in healthcare you say, well, she's acting different. But her vital signs were fine. Her oxygenation was fine. Uh, and I kept asking her, are you okay? She said, yes. I'm okay. And then she started asking me was I Okay. I got her ready for [00:17:00] bed. you know, like I always do. We said, I love you again. She kept asking me was I okay, but just her mannerism. so different. And it was during the time when, my daughter was in college we knew that she was gonna be getting ready to end her Christmas break and go back to college.

And so with that, I was like, the way my mom's acting is she debilitating, is am I gonna still be able to work while having the cameras in here? And, you know, able to check on her. And I started getting nervous about it, really worried, you know,So I text one of my aunts, my Aunt Inez.

I text her to say, mom's discharged. but just the way she's acting. I'm also concerned if I am going to be able to still work and provide care. 'cause I had, you know, promised my mom I would keep her at home. And so, my aunt sent me back some more text and reassurance 'cause we are a pretty large family and that I would have some, [00:18:00] some support. And so I even, my husband and I at the time, we weren't married, but he was at his apartment. I even text him and said the same thing. And again, he reassured me. So my mom, we said, I love you. I went to bed, you know, thinking okay. Wake up in the morning. I'll get her up. Things will be better. Well, when I woke up that morning, my Aunt Anez, she sent me a YouTube, link it was actually a prayer it said, how do you start your day? you should start your day praying, remembering Psalms 18, that God is your rock. He's your refuge for you. Do not know what you're gonna face today. And I mean, I did that whole, I did that YouTube and I just prayed and. I talked to God, and so afterwards I told my daughter, I said, okay, it's time to go.

We're gonna get ready to get mom up and get her dressed. Rayna, when I walked into her bedroom, it was just like the [00:19:00] sun was shining in. It was just like a bright light. And my mom, my daughter, you know, had went in first. She's like, she's not moving. And so I immediately ran in, and of course I knew, but immediately I just started just. you know, and just trying to help my mom. but of course I could tell she had a transition. And so, we still called 9 1 1. We still did all of those things, but truly at the time, I didn't see, at the time, I will be honest with you, I went through all of it. I went through the blame of did I miss?

Something I went through. my mom left me early. She was 63. I felt like I was deprived. I went through anger. I just went through a lot of the phases. But as I've went through my healing, now I see the shift that God was doing in my life, and that shift truly was around him. One. My mom used to tell me all the time, [00:20:00] Melissa, you are always so busy, and I didn't understand that, but now I understand it as we can become so busy till we miss the moments that God is trying to set up for us. And so. I realized that God was interceding because even on January one, during New Year's, we celebrated at home. My mom, we played gospel and she just praised and she worshiped God. And she said, you know, I don't see another day, I'm okay. But just hearing those things, we don't process it. I'm like, my mom's not leaving me. And so again, these are all shifts. And that's what I reference them as. Now there are shifts that God is allowing us to say. Take time in the moment to spend time with him, but as well as spend time with your loved [00:21:00] ones. And so word shift and I placed it in a acronym for my healing and what I see as the shift that God was doing. And so the S is for scripture knowing that, you know, scripture is definitely for our correction, it's for our strength.

It's equipping us for the things that we need. And so that is where our source is. And so the other one is the H, the Holy Spirit in every instance, the Holy Spirit was truly interceding and really showing me. Who God is because I had lost that connection. And then the eye is the illuminate. I still think about the room right And that God's light, will shine even through darkness.

God is the light and it will shine. 'cause I really felt like I was in a dark place. And so then f is for faith. Knowing that it is truly, confidence and assurance in God and knowing that he, um, will see us through, you [00:22:00] know, faith, knowing that it, it's the hope of things not seen. And so for me, it is truly the faith of what wasn't seen and thinking that I couldn't heal. but now there's a testimony and so, it is such an experience. of being able to experience God and walk in his light and walk through his healing. and that my mom also is in a better place. 'cause she made it known on multiple occasions that, she accepted God and she was okay with what his plan was for her life.

Rayna Neises: There is nothing more impactful than walking our loved one all the way home.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Yes.

Rayna Neises: And not everybody gets the opportunity to do that because sometimes there's tragedy that takes a loved one from us, but that process of being able to walk them all the way home is so difficult and so hard at the time to even imagine that everything will be okay.

But God [00:23:00] is so faithful and sometimes it takes years to grieve it. Sometimes it takes time for us to even get ready for the healing or to be open to the healing. And so I love that, you're able to really take that shift and see how, even looking back some of the moments that you did do a good job of staying in the moment, but there were others that you wish you were more in that moment and how much we can changed from this season.

When there's other seasons that will come, they might be caregiving seasons or they might not be, but God has a plan for them all and he has healing for those wounds that just living bring. thank you for 

sharing that. 

Dr. Melissa Glass: most definitely. Thank you. 

Rayna Neises: So what would be one thing you would tell caregivers to keep in mind if they're just starting or if they're in the trenches right now?What would be an encouragement that you would offer them?

Dr. Melissa Glass: Most definitely. the first thing I would say is surround yourself with a community that is like-minded, a community that you can [00:24:00] really, that is, that you can. Really, um, have a support system so you can have someone to talk to, pray with whatever your faith is, do those things. Um, but the other thing is, is I would say, um. Make sure you enjoy every moment. one of the things I've been exploring lately is when we children, we used to ask a lot of questions, right? And sometimes now as adults, we don't ask questions a lot, because we just don't. And so one of the things that I've talking more about and looking at is. Be curious. Be curious about every moment that you have with your loved one and interact with them and just cherish every moment. that is really what's gonna make the difference, I believe in your healing. And so, like you said earlier. Pictures, videos, whatever it takes to, cherish moments because [00:25:00] we really, there's no way to prepare for losing your loved one.

I don't know of a way to do that. And so you don't have a way to do that. When you may lose your loved one, then you will have something to go back to, hopefully, as you go through that healing phase. and what I would say cherish every moment, and be curious about it, and, ask questions and take time to talk with them.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, those are, great tips because they're not something we do instinctively when we're caregiving because the to-do list is so long, but they are things that will make it so much more joy filled in the time. And then, like you said, healing later beyond that caregiving season.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: So thank you for being here today and let our audience know how they might be able to stay in touch with you.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Sure, sure. So definitely I'm on mostly all of the social media platforms, and so definitely you can find me on LinkedIn, you'll find me under Dr. Melissa Glass. And then also you will find me [00:26:00] on Facebook and Instagram. And so, more to come as I continue to tell God's story and, be able to add value to people through sharing what God has given me. I look forward to those who want to connect.

Rayna Neises: Thank you we really enjoyed hearing about your mom and just your journey.

Dr. Melissa Glass: Thank you. Thank you. Rayna I appreciate you having me on today.

Rayna Neises: And listeners, thank you for joining us today for Stories of Hope with Melissa. Remember that if you have financial, legal, or medical questions, be sure to consult your local professionals and take heart in your season of caring.