From Closet Floor Prayers to a Waymaker Testimony: Stories of Hope with Shelli Strickland

What happens when the child you love suddenly can’t face the day—and the usual fixes don’t work? We open up about a mother’s unseen caregiving: guiding her son through anxiety and depression after a cross-country move collided with the uncertainty of COVID. The story moves beyond clichés, touching the raw places—shame when friends don’t understand, judgment from well-meaning people, and the weary loop of doing “all the right things” without a breakthrough—until a quiet yes to counseling, community, and a carefully chosen low-dose medication turned the tide.

We talk candidly about how faith and mental health care can work together, not against each other. You’ll hear what it looks like to advocate at school, track real progress, and hold steady when improvement comes in fits and starts. The spiritual arc is honest and personal: praying on the closet floor, realizing God loves the caregiver as much as the child, and releasing control with the words, “I’m writing his testimony—stop trying to steal the pen.” Along the way, small markers of hope begin to shine: a safe church home, notes from attentive teachers, an eighth-grade tribute to kindness, and a seventh-grade “Waymaker” testimony that reframed the pain with purpose.

If you’re navigating child anxiety, caregiver burnout, or the gray space between prayer and practical help, this conversation offers tools and comfort: how to discern when chemistry is part of the problem, why persistence in seeking support matters, and how a simple nightly gratitude practice can re-anchor a family. We also share Shelli’s upcoming Bible study, “Rise: How to Get Back Up After Life Knocks You Down,” built on Ezra 10:4 and designed to help you take the next faithful step from the valley to solid ground.

If this spoke to you, follow the show, share it with someone who needs hope today, and leave a review so others can find these stories of quiet, steady resilience.

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Shelly and Her Story
• 0:55 An Unexpected Child Anxiety Journey
• 5:35 Judgment, Shame, and Seeking Support
• 8:43 Counseling, Persistence, and Pediatric Advice
• 11:15 The Medication Decision and Breakthrough
• 15:05 Caregiver Guilt, Extremes, and Balance
• 17:10 Surrender: Letting God Hold the Pen
• 19:10 Signs of Hope: Waymaker and Yearbook Quote
• 22:20 Gratitude Practice for Family Resilience
• 26:45 Closing Encouragement and Next Steps

Transcript

Rayna Neises: Hi, I am Rayna Neises, your host of A Season of Caring Podcast, where we share stories of hope for family caregivers pushing through the busyness and loneliness of caregiving to see God even in this season today, I'm excited to introduce you to our special guest, Shelli Strickland.

Shelli is a wife, mom, author, speaker, and podcaster. She loves to share the love of Jesus with others through her personal testimony of God's redemption in her life and through Biblical and practical Truth found in God's unchanging word. Her life has been rescued by the savior, and her desire is to point others to the freedom found only in Christ. Welcome, Shelli. It's so good to have you here

Shelli Strickland: Thank you. I'm excited to be here.

Rayna Neises: So tell us a little bit about what your caregiving look like.

Shelli Strickland: So my caregiving was kind of different from your Season of Caring Podcast. I feel like you talk a lot about, physical caregiving. And mine [00:01:00] was really mental health related, for my son. And so he went through a season where it was just very difficult for him in terms of dealing with anxiety, depression, and just, we walked through this season of mental, I don't like to use the word men. I don't think it was a mental illness per se, but just really struggled mentally and emotionally with those two things, anxiety and depression. And because of his age, we were so caught off guard because we weren't prepared for that or how to navigate it.

As a mom, it felt very lonely because it wasn't something I felt comfortable talking to my friends about in terms of, you know, all their kids that age were playing sports and involved in this and that, and I felt a lot of shame, like I was doing something wrong. And so it just, it was a really hard season for our family,[00:02:00] 

Rayna Neises: So was he like middle school, high school?

Shelli Strickland: so he was. Elementary school. And I think that that actually played a lot into the shame as well, because no one was talking at this time about that for that age child. And in fact, so it was right around COVID, it was around 2020. Our family had just moved from a really small town. Really sweet, you know, just great community at church, private school. Everyone was thriving. We all had our friends and our places where we fit and we moved to a huge city and it just rocked his world. He was not prepared for that. And we knew it'd be hard for our kids. We had one going into seventh and one going into fourth and honestly we thought it would be harder for our seventh grade daughter.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: But it wasn't, we were so unprepared [00:03:00] for,

Rayna Neises: Wow.

Shelli Strickland: for the adjustment. I say adjustment because he, about six months into this whole process, we finally took him to a counselor and they diagnosed him with adjustment disorder, which is a fancy way of saying he doesn't like it here.

I mean, that's basically what it was. But as a mom, I just kept, you know, we are in church and we're at a private Christian school, and so I just kept waiting for the tide to turn for.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, I.

Shelli Strickland: For him to kind of be like, okay. You know, and we had play dates. I was the room mom, I was serving in his Sunday school class. I was trying to do all the right things, and I feel convicted even saying that. 'cause the Lord was like, I, I was trying to control it. I was trying to manage it

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: and I didn't know that at the time. I just thought I was doing the right thing

Rayna Neises: right. You're just being the mom.

Shelli Strickland: Right, right. Exactly. And [00:04:00] so I just had no idea that a child at that age could struggle with anxiety and depression.

 In fact, I found a podcast from a Christian author. Her name is Sissy Goff. I don't know if you know of her.

Rayna Neises: I haven't.

Shelli Strickland: Well, so during 2020, that's when school closed down and it was our first year at a new school, and we were just at the point where he was kind of making friends on his own, like he was feeling a little more comfortable and then everything shut down. It was just the worst timing and.

Rayna Neises: Well, it was such an anxious time for everyone because none of us knew what in the world was happening or what was going to happen

Shelli Strickland: Right, and because he had such tight relationships at his old school with teachers, administrators, this felt even lonelier because. You know, when you know teachers and administrators and the people in your close-knit community, school and [00:05:00] church, when things close down and your world is totally rocked, you still feel safe in a way because you feel seen by the people who know you

Rayna Neises: Right.

Shelli Strickland: He didn't know those people. And so when they're like, log in and just do school from home. That was weird. You know, it just, and nothing was, nothing felt safe, secure, or right in his world or in his brain. And so I vulnerably reached out to our new Sunday school class. We were all in a group chat together. Small class, obviously all Christians. I asked for prayer for my son who was struggling with anxiety as a 9-year-old Rayna. If I hadn't have been a strong believer at the time, I, I probably wouldn't have gone back because one of the women in the group said, how is that even [00:06:00] possible? How can your son be feeling anxiety? Like, what are you doing at home that he doesn't feel safe?

And I just, it was the most. Offensive and I just, I really had to just ask the Lord to help me in that moment because

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: I couldn't believe it. And actually, I think that that's what propelled me to kind of figure out. What is going on? Because my husband and I love him. We are a safe family. We have him in church, we have him in, you know, and so I couldn't externally figure out what was going on besides the move, which we knew was hard, but it had been enough time where we kind of just felt like it's not like this prolonged grief isn't matching with what we feel like should be an appropriate amount of time.

Rayna Neises: What's happening, right? What's actually, what's happening there? It

Shelli Strickland: Yes,

Rayna Neises: to a level

Shelli Strickland: yes.

Rayna Neises: for [00:07:00] anyone else. And as we talk about caregiving, I think you're sharing so many of the emotions that we have as caregivers, but we don't verbalize. Many people will not even admit that they feel guilt. Or that they're spending this time analyzing every little thing that they do, looking for what they can do more to fix it. And I think so many times as caregivers, that is what we're doing. And honestly, that's what we're called to do because we're advocates for our loved ones.

Shelli Strickland: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: So that balance is really hard because as always, it's really walking the middle and not going extreme either direction, we.

Shelli Strickland: Right.

Rayna Neises: We want to be all black and white. That just seems to be nature is that we go a hundred percent in and it's all our fault and we need to do more or we just wash our hands of it walk away and don't try. And so I think if you're listening to this [00:08:00] podcast, you're probably right there. With Shelli. And you're right there saying, oh my gosh, I felt the same way no one understands and that there is judgment. It is so hard because we tell you all the time, find your support, and so you ask for the support and then you get smacked upside the head, and I'm sorry for

Shelli Strickland: Yeah. Um, Thank you. With any caregiving situation, physical, emotional, mental. It's a process and when you're in it and you love someone so much, it's hard to have a bird's eye view. It's really hard to back up enough to not let your emotions rule the roost a little bit. In hindsight, what I wish I would've done, but, but I kept waiting for it to turn. Like I just kept waiting for him to wake up one day and be like, okay, I'm fine now.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: And when it didn't happen, I wish, in hindsight, I had gone and got help. I wish I had gone [00:09:00] and got a counselor to kind of help me walk through this. And so I share my story because I want people to know that it's okay to ask for help and, and keep asking for help. If you run into people who judge you or have an opinion or think you're doing it wrong, there's always gonna be those people. Keep asking. It was such a blessing because we had a pediatrician and he was going to his yearly physical, 'cause he was gonna play sports and I just was crying at the pediatrician's office and I just said he doesn't wanna go to school. He is always anxious about going to school and his doctor just said, have you ever thought about maybe just a low dose of medicine? And I just thought, I don't think that's for [00:10:00] us. I don't know about that. I was really anxious about that because you know, I just didn't know.

It planted a seed, and so we kept doing the counseling and we kept trying to figure out like why this prolonged grief? How come we can't move past this? Where is all this anxiety come from? We were doing all the right things. But I mean, we were at year two at this point, so now we're in sixth grade and he's going through puberty and so that exacerbated the emotions and, and it was hard to distinguish between what was what. But we knew enough to know that, not wanting to go to school was the biggest issue. And we really just wanted him to flourish. We wanted him to thrive. Now he never not wanted to go to church was, which was such a blessing.

Rayna Neises: Yeah,

Shelli Strickland: and so we thought, so that's interesting because he's a hundred percent fine to go for three hours 'cause we'd go to one group and big church. And so he

Rayna Neises: [00:11:00] Uhhuh.

Shelli Strickland: fought that. He was always felt safe there and we just couldn't figure out what it was at school. There were no bullies. We talked to his teachers. They said people love him. And so we just couldn't figure it out. And so the counseling was helpful, but then there'd be like three days of a good day and then two bad days. It was never consistent

Rayna Neises: so the medication kind of brought him to a place where it dealt with the actual chemical issues that he was

Shelli Strickland: Yes. And when I finally relented and just after I had prayed and prayed and prayed, and God just said, I kind of felt like he gave me permission. To, to try this avenue. And Rayna, when I tell you it made a night and day difference, I could cry like it, it was like the first time I gave it to him at night. It was just a low dose of anti-anxiety medicine, non-habit forming. I gave it to him at night. I cried. I didn't know if it was the right thing to do. Like that's the part of caretaking [00:12:00] you, you get to this point of I'm kind of desperate. I want healing for my. Loved one or helped.

Rayna Neises: Yep.

Yep.

Shelli Strickland: and when you get to an avenue where someone's suggesting it, that you trust, it's like, I'm willing to do this. 'Cause I've tried everything else.

Rayna Neises: Yep.

Shelli Strickland: And so the next morning I went to wake him up for school and he just got up, got in the shower, got dressed, got his backpack on, and waited for me to get in the car. Never

Rayna Neises: You are

Shelli Strickland: next.

Rayna Neises: Just

Shelli Strickland: what just happened? Like it was, it was life changing. And, that's when I knew, oh, this is chemical. This is chemical.

Rayna Neises: Yep.

Shelli Strickland: And I had a lot of shame about that and I hate to even share that, but it's just honest. 'Cause a lot of people have opinions about that, right.

Rayna Neises: Yes. I was gonna say, there's so many opinions and I think there are, as I said, we're always so extreme, sometimes even as caregivers, if you're finding yourself struggling with depression, you're finding yourself [00:13:00] not able to get over the hump and you're doing the things you're talking, you're trying the exercise, you're doing the things. Sometimes it is time to say, Hey, I need more help with this, because there is a chemical piece of

Shelli Strickland: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: And so we have to look at all of the resources that we have available to us. And like you said, when you don't get the right connection to start off with, you have to keep looking. And it can be really difficult to do because it takes. So many times we are exhausted and we are overwhelmed with decisions that I can imagine that stress of just, is this the right decision? I'm sure was really difficult. He's so young and you are the decision maker. You can't even have a voice in that decision as far as that goes either. So I'm sure that was really challenging, but I do think there's so many important things to think about in there, in whatever caregiving looks like, because I do think we overlook mental health caregiving [00:14:00] and with our loved ones that are living with disease, whatever it looks like if they're living with a physical ailment. I know I had a frozen shoulder for a year.

Shelli Strickland: Mm.

Rayna Neises: The pain, constant pain very mentally difficult. And I think of that, and I think of how many of the people that we're caring for are living with pain every day and how that impacts them mentally as well.

And so there's times when I'm talking with caregivers that I'm like, you know, I think it's. think you need to talk to them about that, or you need to talk to the doctor about that and make sure that we are addressing all avenues because a period of time it, there is a, a piece of it, which is chemical and it's not just, you know, snap out of it.

Shelli Strickland: Right?

Rayna Neises: just

Shelli Strickland: Yes.

Rayna Neises: So

Shelli Strickland: I

Rayna Neises: challenging though because it's not like we can run a test and say, oh, we need this and this will fix it.

Shelli Strickland: right.

Rayna Neises: think that's one of the hardest parts. [00:15:00] As we're trying to make those decisions. So when you think about your caregiving, what would you say was most surprising?

Shelli Strickland: I think what was most surprising for me was how much God was pursuing my heart.

Rayna Neises: Hmm.

Shelli Strickland: I remember one morning I was getting on my knees in my closet and I did it all the time. Like I just prayed in my closet on my knees for my son every day. I was so desperate for God to deliver him and heal him. And I just remember one time I was on my knees in my closet praying for my son, and God said, as much as you love him, I love you.

I don't know why. I just never even considered that or thought that. But in that moment I felt like he did. I knew he did, and I [00:16:00] was so worried 24/7, like I was a nuts 24 7 worried. And God was just saying to me, you have to let go. You have to let go and trust me in that moment, I realized how much I was trying to control it, how much I was trying to fix it, how much I was bending over backwards to make him be okay. And God said to me in my spirit, I'm writing his testimony, quit trying to steal the pen.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: And I was like, I want the pin.

Rayna Neises: I just don't want this to be happening.

Shelli Strickland: This is so hard. Yeah, exactly. Like, and it's so funny because I look back at my childhood and there's so many moments where through hardship, through suffering, through pain, like that's where I was formed in my relationship with the Lord and it built my [00:17:00] character but that is so hard, like letting God just give, like, just surrendering all of it to God and saying, I trust you, but something shift when that happened, something shift between my son and I, between God and I, and I just, I think I grew,

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: know I grew when I look back at that season, but in that moment, I think that was the turning point.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. And caregivers. If you haven't been there yet, you need to get there

Shelli Strickland: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: because it really is, that's the season is about what you can and letting go of everything

Shelli Strickland: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: And we are called to do our part. But we are called to let go way more than what we think

Shelli Strickland: yes.

Rayna Neises: because we always think we know best. We always think if we were in charge it would look different we're not in charge. And it looks just the way He [00:18:00] needs it to look because he has a bigger plan than what we can see.

Shelli Strickland: Oh wow. That will preach. That is a hundred percent true. Yes.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, it's challenging though. You obviously just did of when God really showed up and when that change turned the corner. Anything else really stand out to you of when you saw God really just show up for you in the season?

Shelli Strickland: Yes. There's two things that really. Were so impactful. I think it was seventh grade when Noah had to do a cardboard testimony, in their school, which is, they share a lot of like ministry opportunities with the church. They're connected and the kids had to do a cardboard testimony. They had to pick one word to describe how they saw the Lord, or a name for the Lord. And my son chose Way Maker.

Rayna Neises: Hmm.

Shelli Strickland: And it was right when that song was popular way maker, miracle worker. And so he chose way maker [00:19:00] and he had to write, why, why do you see God as your way maker? And it makes me cry because his testimony was how God helped him through a hard season and showed him away through.

He would've never had that if he hadn't have gone through that season. But the fact that he could say that and know that in his core was so huge and it just like when you're going through it, it's gut wrenching. But when you can turn around and see God's faithfulness and how he brings you through and how he deepens your faith and your loved one's faith that you're just so heartsick for, it's just amazing.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Shelli Strickland: God's character never changes, but when he shows off like that, it's just amazing.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. And many of you that are listening probably are still in the trenches, and so you aren't in the having the opportunity to look back

Shelli Strickland: I.

Rayna Neises: but that's one of the gifts that we have in being on the other side of this [00:20:00] caregiving season, whatever it looked like, is being able to look backwards and see God's faithfulness.

And that's one of the reasons why I love this question, because in the trenches you can know he's there, but you don't see all that he's doing on your behalf because you're in the trenches. So be encouraged. It will be even more beautiful when you can't look back

Shelli Strickland: Yeah, I could have never written that story ever. And there were in the trenches, in the hard days, there were moments when we could see God, when we could know, when we knew he was with us. It would be an encouraging email from a teacher who just saw him. In a personal way that could only have been from the Lord, just provision in that moment.

The fact that he always felt comfortable going to this new church was huge. Things like that. Um, friendships along the way. Even just tight relationships that he kept from his [00:21:00] old school, those were great. Friends would come and visit. Things like that were really encouraging. And the other, the other thing was. When my son got to eighth grade, so we started in fourth. Struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle. And through junior high he was really just turning that corner. And they asked him for a yearbook quote.

And, and one of the things, one, the question was. How has a pa, who was your favorite teacher and why? In either elementary, junior high or middle school. And he named his first teacher when we moved here.

Rayna Neises: Hmm.

Shelli Strickland: that the quote was that she was so encouraging, patient and kind, and because of her, he was able to get through a difficult season.

Rayna Neises: Wow.

Shelli Strickland: would've never guessed that

Rayna Neises: No,

Shelli Strickland: that,

Rayna Neises: because he didn't turn the corner

Shelli Strickland: [00:22:00] right?

Rayna Neises: would never have seen that it mattered because he struggled. He was still struggling so

Shelli Strickland: Yes. And the fact that he thought that is just evidence that God was working behind the scenes.

Rayna Neises: God is good all the time. We just forget.

Shelli Strickland: Yeah. And it's hard because behind the tears, behind the meltdowns, behind the frustration, you're just like, where are you Lord? And he never disappears. And we know that mental, like we know that in our mind and our brain. It's when our emotions get involved and we see just the heartache. It's just we need those reminders that. He is there on the floor with us crying like he is.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. I hope that's what the podcast does for you, is just remind you of that. Whenever you can't see it for yourself, all the different people, all the different voices that I bring on, can be that reminder to point you to it as you're still on the floor or as you're still [00:23:00] cleaning up or cooking that dinner that you don't wanna cook or whatever it is that you're doing. I hope that our voices will be that reminder for you. He is there, whether you feel it or not. And it makes it easier when we can acknowledge it, but it's okay if you don't because he's still

Shelli Strickland: Yeah. I love that, Rayna. It's so good.

Rayna Neises: So what's one thing that you do to live content? Love well and care without regret.

Shelli Strickland: Oh my goodness. I love this question. One of the things we did in that season, our family did intentionally, is we sat down every single night. My kids, they really hated this in the beginning, but it became such a routine and just part of our, we still do it, is we just named three things that we're grateful for.

Rayna Neises: Hmm.

Shelli Strickland: the end of the day, and it could be our dogs, it could be, you know, sweet tea. It, it's just an intentional way to give God the glory, like no matter how hard life is, we will always have [00:24:00] something to be grateful for, like God's mercy and grace, and many, many blessings. Are what we wanna focus on, even when we're struggling, even when it's hard, even when someone's suffering or going through something hard, like God is still good, he's still on the throne, he's still sovereign.

I wanted my kids to always know that they have a choice. Even in the struggle, we'll choose to see the gratitude, we'll choose to see the blessings, we did every night. We each named three things and we still do it today and it, it's fun.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: Well, thank you so much, Shelli, for being here today. Tell my listeners, I know you just released a new Bible study. Tell my listeners how they can stay in touch with you and maybe have a chance to learn a little bit more about your writing and things that you're up to.

Shelli Strickland: Aw, thank you so much. So you can find me@gracedformore.org and my new Bible study, which isn't out yet. It's [00:25:00] about to be released. It's called Rise. How to Get Back Up After Life Knocks you down. And it is our testimony, our family's testimony of that season, and just putting one foot in front of the other and allowing the Lord to use that time in our life to deepen our faith. To grow us closer together and to grow us closer to the Lord. And it really is based on the Bible verse, Ezra ten four that says, rise up, take courage and do it. And so we just had to choose to rise because we know that we're overcomers, we know that we're victorious in Christ, and we have a choice as believers.

Are we gonna believe his promises? Or are we just gonna lay down and complain and be in a self pity and be a victim, no, we're not. That's where the Bible study came from and I pray it'll be an encouraging tool to help someone in the valley because I was in the valley [00:26:00] for a really long time.

But I'm also living proof that God can meet us in the valley, take us through the wilderness and bring us to the other side, and it's beautiful. And not to despise the wilderness.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Shelli Strickland: I can't believe I'm saying that because in the middle of it I really hated it.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Shelli Strickland: But to come to the other side and say, I don't, I wouldn't change a thing.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Shelli Strickland: That's God.

Rayna Neises: It is. Amen. Yeah. So true. Thank you so much, Shelli.

I know you started off saying you're not my typical guest, but I love your story and I think there's so much we can learn from other people's caregiving journeys and just our faith walk For sure. So thank you for being willing to share and offer your encouragement.

Shelli Strickland: Thank you so much for having me, Rayna.

Rayna Neises: Listeners, thank you for joining us today for Stories of Hope with Shelli on a season of Caring podcast, where there's hope to live content, love well, and care without regrets. If you have [00:27:00] medical, financial or legal questions, be sure to consult your local professionals and take heart in your season of caring.