Life Continues; Love Expands; Hope Holds: Stories of Hope with Pat Burkett

A small change in behavior can rewrite a life. When Pat began noticing Don’s unusual decisions, lost words, and shifting patterns, the search for answers led to a Frontotemporal Dementia diagnosis—and a decade-long lesson in love, agency, and faith. We unpack the realities of FTD’s behavioral variant, why it’s often misread in midlife, and how a caregiver’s voice can and should shape care. Pat explains how she learned to opt out of stressful, unhelpful appointments, advocate through atypical medication reactions, and build routines that gave Don dignity. Sometimes the right choice is the one that brings peace, even if it looks different from the standard path.

We also go straight at the grief most caregivers carry but rarely name. Loss begins long before the goodbye. Pat shares how stacked losses overwhelmed her plans and how therapy—and for a season, an antidepressant—helped her function, feel, and keep going. Faith remained a steady thread, from a midnight caregiver post that prepared her for Don’s sudden seizures to the quiet conviction that help would meet her at the moment of need. Along the way, we talk about practical strategies: protecting the caregiver’s health, choosing physicians who see the whole family, and honoring routines that soothe, like Don’s daily mowing that brought calm even on hospice.

The heart of this conversation is freedom from guilt. You can’t alter the disease’s destination, but you can shape the journey. Pat closes with hard-won wisdom on accepting help, inviting community into the home, and measuring success by presence and kindness rather than outcomes. And she offers a hopeful coda: life continues, love expands, and gratitude can return. Listen for validation, guidance, and a gentle nudge toward living without regrets.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a caregiver who needs hope, and leave a review to help others find these stories.

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Pat And Don’s Story
• 2:20 Frontotemporal Dementia Explained
• 5:20 Finding The Right Doctor
• 9:10 Meds, Appointments, And Boundaries
• 13:10 Awareness, Denial, And Daily Work
• 17:20 Routines, Safety, And Dignity
• 21:10 The Weight Of Ongoing Grief
• 26:00 Therapy, Faith, And Antidepressants

Transcript

Rayna Neises: [00:00:00] Hi, I am Rayna Neises, your host of A Season of Caring Podcast, where we share stories of hope for family caregivers breaking through the busyness and loneliness of caregiving to see God even in the middle of the season. I'm excited to introduce you to Pat Burett. She was raised in southwest Kansas and she graduated from Newman University in Wichita with an accounting degree. Pat worked for 30 years for farm credit before retiring to full-time be a caregiver. Pat has a son, a stepdaughter, and seven grandchildren with her husband, Don, and she's married again, and she and Dennis are active in our church at One Church at Pleasant View. They also enjoy spending time with family ,watching grandkids events and traveling. Welcome Pat. I'm so glad to have you here today.

Pat Burkett: Thank you. I'm glad to be here.

Rayna Neises: So share with us what your caregiving season look like.

Pat Burkett: I cared for my husband, Don. He [00:01:00] had Frontotemporal Dementia with the Behavioral Variant. He lived 10 and a half years after he was diagnosed. Frontotemporal is a little bit in the news now since Bruce Willis was diagnosed with it. Bruce has a slightly different variant than Don. Don was the behavior variant, which, uh, I think Bruce's is more of the speech

Rayna Neises: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: I had started to notice changes in Don's behavior, some obsessions, bad decision, unusual decisions and behaviors. And he also started to forget the name for objects. It was like nouns were a big problem. What's ironic, not ironic, it, it's, I believe God's hand in this is that his mother also had some kind of undiagnosed dementia.

And she had spent quite a bit of time with us during [00:02:00] the last of her life, and after she passed away, I'd started praying almost every day. God, please don't let Don have dementia. Please don't. So even when I was not being so kind to my husband about all these changes, I was still praying. And then one day it was so clear, you're praying for the wrong thing.

So. I convinced him that we needed to do something and unfortunately we had just changed doctors. This new doctor was not good, so we had to change again, and you see God's hand did it once again. Someone recommended a younger doctor. We went to him, found out his mother had early onset Alzheimer's. And his wife, he said, mainly his wife was caring for. His mother and helping. So he sent Don to KU Med Center in Wichita and he was diagnosed [00:03:00] with a Frontotemporal. And I would just say at that time I had never even heard of it.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, like you said, it's in the news more now, but it's definitely one of those things that until you have it hit your family. There are 110 different kinds of dementia and until it hits your life, a lot of times you haven't heard of them.

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm. And one thing I'll say about my doctor and encourage other caregivers to find a doctor who cares about you, he was very concerned about me and from what I've heard from other caregivers, that's not always true. But you are gonna have many things happen to you and you need to have a doctor who cares and recognizes that.

Rayna Neises: I think it's so important. I know one of the struggles that we had was when behaviors came up, was getting people to just listen.

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: And my dad always had the most odd reactions to medications. And so, really having someone that hears you even when it's not a [00:04:00] typical symptom or reaction to a medication. Letting them hear that this is different, something's wrong and reacting to you. So I love that, that you mentioned that. 'cause it is not always easy to find. And I always say in this day and age where insurance is different, they still work for you

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: find someone else. You don't have to keep hiring somebody that's not listening.

Pat Burkett: That's true. And one other thing too is you don't always have to go. Don would get so upset when we would have appointments. He would be so nervous. And I remember the follow up with the neurologist a year after he was diagnosed and it lasted maybe three minutes and they said, we'll, see you next year.

So we were still seeing, someone at the KU Med Center, and I asked her, I said, now why am I going to this neurologist? And it took her about three or four minutes to say, well, it's just good to have one. I thought, no, we don't have to [00:05:00] see him, and we don't have to see you because there are no medications for Frontotemporal.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: We tried the ones for Alzheimer's, which made everything worse,

Rayna Neises: Yep.

Pat Burkett: and we stopped. So it's important to know that you are in charge of that.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: you said, you're in charge of your medical care to a certain extent, and we just opted not to go. And I know some people, they do like to go. They wanna see MRIs and see the progress, but that was not a good option for us because of all the stress that it put on us.

Rayna Neises: Well, and we have to realize that we have permission to do what works for

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: We are not cookie cutter. We're all different in how we react to medications, how we handle anxiety, all of those things. We can do what's best for the person we're caring for and for ourselves. So I love that point, Pat.

How old was Don when you were going through this?

Pat Burkett: He was in his early sixties

Rayna Neises: Okay.

Pat Burkett: and most people who are diagnosed with Frontotemporal are in their [00:06:00] forties to their sixties, mid sixties. So it is a young onset, and from what I've read, which I can understand, sometimes it's misdiagnosed, as mental illness or depression. Or something else. Midlife crisis.

Rayna Neises: Especially with those behaviors being a part

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: yeah.

Pat Burkett: Yes. Don knew the whole time that either he had Frontotemporal or that something was wrong. Even at the end, he even told me, I don't have a brain. So he always knew something wasn't right and he would try. He didn't want people to know at first,

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: and. He and his mom both were jokers. They liked to joke, they liked to, they were good at playing cards because they could bluff so he could get by with it for a while,

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: you know, because he was always teasing people. We worked in kids' ministry and the kids would always talk about how he had a nickname for each [00:07:00] one of them.

Well, later on I'm thinking it's 'cause he didn't know their names. Even though they have name tag on, he would call him something different. So as he, and then the time came when he couldn't bluff his way anymore. And we did tell people, and I think most people knew something wasn't right,

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: didn't exactly know.

Rayna Neises: Yeah, I think it's so challenging. I think personality has something to do with how they handle it, but I also, there is a term Agni oea, which is the term that someone is not aware of their illness, and so it actually is a diagnosis of something that some people just never

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: That they have anything wrong with them. Whereas there's another percent, about 50% who do know. And so my mom was in the, in the field of not knowing, and

Pat Burkett: Hmm.

Rayna Neises: was in the field of knowing. So my mom very verbal about my dad [00:08:00] taking over and my dad was doing everything and I don't understand why he's doing it. 'Cause she just didn't realize. He told me he took over cooking. He told me , I had to Rayna. He said the food got to the point that the dog wouldn't eat it. So he was slipping the food under the table and the dog was chowing down on it, so he wasn't hurting her feelings. And then it got to the point that the dog wouldn't even eat it. And so he was like, I just had to take over. But she resented that because she didn't realize. That what she was doing was wrong, whereas he was more like your husband and he would sit and you could just see him thinking and thinking and thinking. And he used to say to me in the earlier stages, Rayna, can you help me?

And I'm like, sure dad. You know, what do, what do you need help with? I need to go to the doctor. Something is wrong with me. I just can't think. My brain just doesn't work. Right. You know, he would use those words. And so I, I don't know which was better. I, I think my mom was blissfully happy and so it, it didn't [00:09:00] impact her the

Pat Burkett: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: but for my dad, it was frustrating.

Pat Burkett: Yes,

Rayna Neises: that thought of, I should be able to do this, I should be able to figure this

Pat Burkett: yes.

Rayna Neises: that was really unsettling at times. I tried to distract as much as I could or put him to work doing something he could do so that he wouldn't sit and stew about it.

Pat Burkett: That's very true. My husband was active, he exercised, we did not hire people. We did things ourselves and. He really did. He just liked to work. We worked at church, we worked at friend's house on mission projects. We worked, but with Frontotemporal, they don't necessarily lose their memories.

They're there, but they can't find them or they can't find them in the right order. So when you need to unload and reload the dishwasher, you may forget the steps

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: So that is, that could be a mess [00:10:00] or, and, uh,

Rayna Neises: solving,

Pat Burkett: yes.

Rayna Neises: of being able to get things in the right order. Yeah. My dad was a real problem solver too, and that was what I think triggered him early on with the Alzheimer's was, can't figure this out. I should be able to do this, but I can't figure out what, how to start or what to do first, or that kind of thing. Can be really frustrating for 'em.

Pat Burkett: Yes. Yeah. Very frustrating. And it was difficult for the things that he couldn't do anymore, but he sure didn't want me to do it. So if I would have to wait until he was napping or, or out with someone. We had a very old car that leaked fluid constantly, so he would just have a fit if he saw me changing or adding fluid to the car.

So I would have to wait until he couldn't see me do it

Rayna Neises: Yeah,

Pat Burkett: or resort the garage and put it back in order after he, and then he'd come home and resort [00:11:00] it again. He was very busy. Which was good, and I think that's why he lasted 10 and a half years after he was diagnosed. But it certainly kept me busy

Rayna Neises: for sure.

Pat Burkett: He,

Rayna Neises: of different levels.

Pat Burkett: yes, like he mowed at the end. He just loved to mow. He would, even when he was on hospice, he would mow every day.

Rayna Neises: Mm

Pat Burkett: The people at hospice said that they, in their meetings, they would call him the man who mows. Yes. So I knew the day we went out to mow and he said, you're gonna have to mow. I thought you're gonna die. And he did 10 days later. Yeah. Yeah, because he just needed to be busy.

Rayna Neises: That

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: My dad was very much that way and I do agree with you. I think it helps so much to keep them engaged in what they can do. And that's amazing that he could continue to mow safely. Even if it was every day, he probably wasn't mowing the grass 'cause there was no grass getting to grow. But just being able to [00:12:00] do that routine brought

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: I think it's so important sometimes we're busy trying to make them live in reality and well, the grass doesn't need to be mowed

Pat Burkett: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: and that doesn't work, because that brought him joy to be able to have that routine and to do that. So that was really wise to let him get out there every day and become the man who mows.

Pat Burkett: Right. That's right. Because it, you know, it didn't matter. He would just mow for hours and hours and I'd sit and watch him. Sometimes a friend would come over and sit with me and we'd watch him mow. So, because.

Rayna Neises: great. So what would you say was most surprising to you in caregiving?

Pat Burkett: The grief.

Rayna Neises: Mm.

Pat Burkett: The grief is just overwhelming, especially over the years. There's, and I guess I never thought about that. Um, I'm an accountant. I'm analytical.

Rayna Neises: Yeah,

Pat Burkett: read everything I could. I prepared plans for what would happen if something happened to [00:13:00] me. I signed him up at Presbyterian Manor. I mean, I had plans in place. I had goals for him. Keep him safe, productive, and happy. But the grief is something you just cannot prepare for you just watching what that disease did to him and then. Especially over the length of time you lose your life. You know, Don and I had a wonderful life.

We had friends, we had grandkids, we did a lot of things with our family. We took trips, we volunteered, we just had a great life. And then it just gradually starts. It's gradual at first, and then after a while it's just completely different.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: And then you have the grief of losing a husband.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Pat Burkett: There's no one to have a conversation with. You make all the decisions. And I think it was about five years in, he told me, he said, I know you're my [00:14:00] wife. I love you because you take good care of me, but I don't know anything about you. And so that, it was sweet, but also tough,

Rayna Neises: Oh yeah.

Pat Burkett: tough.

Rayna Neises: I think we're doing a better job of talking about grief and caregiving more of us are talking about it, but it is one of those pieces that we can't solve it.

Pat Burkett: No.

Rayna Neises: I think we don't talk about it. Like you said, I can have these plans to do all of these things the things that I feel like I can control, but what's the plan to deal with grief? So how did you handle it?

Pat Burkett: I'm gonna say not well for a long time and I was part of Kairos Outside Prison Ministry, which is a ministry to women who have incarcerated family members. Well, I don't know, maybe three [00:15:00] years into it, I decided I wanted to work one of the weekends and you have to do training. So my two wonderful sister-in-laws came from out of town, spent the day with Don, and when I came home, you know, I just thank you, thank you.

And they said, ah, you know, we were so glad to spend the day with Don. And they said, you're gonna need something to go back to when this is over.

Rayna Neises: Mm.

Pat Burkett: And that's when it hit me. Wow. This will be over

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Pat Burkett: and I will be alone.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Pat Burkett: But through this ministry I met, a woman who is a licensed social worker who saw patients, and I kept her card a couple of years thinking I need to see her sometime.

Maybe it was six, seven years in one year after Christmas, I just laid on the couch. And cried and slept. And Don and the dog, I [00:16:00] looked down there, they'd be on the floor laying by me

Rayna Neises: Mm.

Pat Burkett: and I thought, we're not gonna make it.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: I called her and I went to therapy and I'm getting teary-eyed now, but I didn't cry the whole 10 and a half years.

Rayna Neises: No. 

Pat Burkett: She encouraged me to go on an antidepressant, which I did,

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: and a few months after Don passed, I visited her and she said, you don't need to see me anymore. You're crying. You're grieving. I would encourage people to think about that. I know there's mixed feelings about taking an antidepressant, but it wasn't forever.

Rayna Neises: Right.

Pat Burkett: It was for that season, and we did survive it.

Rayna Neises: Well, and I think it's so important that the medications combined with the therapy as

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: it's not just the medication's not gonna fix the problem. The reality is gonna fix the problem. You're living with someone who's dying and so [00:17:00] that grief is normal. But at a point in which you're not functioning, it's not normal.

Pat Burkett: Right.

Rayna Neises: able to work with someone who can help you be able to decide is medication gonna help with this?

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: I need to do differently? Or, how do I need to take care of myself? What does that look like? Is a really important step. And I, I agree. I think so many times we're just in the thick of caregiving that we're not even thinking about life after,

Pat Burkett: Yes,

Rayna Neises: feels wrong to think about life after. But at the same time, I always say, the season will end and a

Pat Burkett: yes.

Rayna Neises: be begin. And the thing about caregiving is the end of the season's gonna be the end of their life. And we don't

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: about that. We don't wanna think about that. But it is the reality of what it is.

And so I appreciate you sharing that because grief is a big piece of it and I don't think that most of us slow down enough to even realize that's what we're

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: And those comments, like what he said to [00:18:00] you not really knowing you anymore.

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: They hurt. There's no way around it. And when my dad would say he, no, I'm not married.

No, I didn't have kids.

Pat Burkett: Oh yeah.

Rayna Neises: you know, it hurts. There's no other way to put that. You can understand it logically,

Pat Burkett: Right?

Rayna Neises: your hearts it still hurts. And so we have to take care of those hurts or we're gonna find it snowballs on us.

Pat Burkett: Yes. And I found out that. I was not good at grieving. One of my very close friends we had met in an adoption support group, and her husband was diagnosed with a different early onset dementia just months before Don was. So we had our own little, very unusual support group

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: that two women who adopted older children and had a husband with an early onset dementia, and we would talk about that something would happen. We need to grieve [00:19:00] that. Well, he can't figure out how to put his razor back together.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: We need to grieve that. He can't find Psalms in the Bible anymore. You need to grieve that. And then pretty soon there's so much loss, you just can't do it individually like that.

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Pat Burkett: There's just too much. And I found out from therapy that. I'm not good at grieving and you should be like, my mother had died probably two years before then, and I had supposedly retired, but mainly retired to take care of Don.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: you haven't, you haven't grieved your mother or your career. And I said, fortunately I knew this new my therapist. I said, no, you don't understand why I'm here. She said, I think I do .

She is no longer practicing but a wonderful Christian lady, which I believe is also important. You need to find another Christian person to walk through this with you. She would say things to me like, now Pat, have you prayed about this or just worried about [00:20:00] it?

Rayna Neises: Mm.

Pat Burkett: I said, I've just worried about it.

Thank, thank you. Thank you for,

Rayna Neises: Thank you. I'll work on the prayer part next.

Pat Burkett: yeah. Yeah. I paid you how much to tell me this. Yeah.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. Well, and you know, I've

found through supporting people in caregiving that I talk a lot about hope and the only hope is in the Lord.

Pat Burkett: Yeah.

Rayna Neises: without talking about that, I don't really have a whole lot to offer because this is hard. And there is no happily ever after from a world perspective. This is just hard. But God is still good and the happily ever after for us is that we'll see them again. And

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: a small season of our time together because we'll be together in eternity as well.

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: so it's that perspective that can bring peace that nothing else can. So. I agree. Definitely finding people of faith to encourage you in that, but definitely even professionally

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: a big [00:21:00] difference. So tell us one time that comes to mind of how God really showed up for you in your caregiving.

Pat Burkett: I've thought about that and there's so many times

Rayna Neises: I

Pat Burkett: that uh, yes, I know, butone special time, and this was getting close to the end and I knew it had to be close to the end. I followed a Facebook group for spouses with frontotemporal,

Rayna Neises: Mm.

Pat Burkett: and I couldn't look at it very often,

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: or some people had to block because of all the comments, but one night my iPad was right by my bed, 10 o'clock at night. I thought, you know, I haven't looked at that for a long time. I'm just gonna look at it right there. There was a post about a man who had had three seizures in a row. There were about 30 comments, and I read every one of them and I thought, you know, I've never heard of this, but if this happens, this is what I'm gonna do.[00:22:00] 

At midnight, I heard a horrible noise and I ripped off Don's CPAP mask and I thought you're having a seizure.

Rayna Neises: Hmm.

Pat Burkett: And then he had another one at one and another one at three.

Rayna Neises: Wow.

Pat Burkett: There are no odds that I would have just read that post

Rayna Neises: Yeah.

Pat Burkett: that two hours before it happened. I knew then I had already decided two hours before what I would do when that situation happened. So, you know, God gave me the knowledge, the piece about what I decided to do, which may not be the same for everyone,

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: was in my situation.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. Isn't that amazing? Because of all the times that you went and were discouraged or it didn't meet your need,

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: something that had always been there

Pat Burkett: Yes,

Rayna Neises: you to be able to handle what was coming [00:23:00] even just a couple hours later.

Pat Burkett: Yes,

Rayna Neises: me how faithful he is and, and how we can trust him to do that, to just

Pat Burkett: yes.

Rayna Neises: what we need right when we need it.

Pat Burkett: Exactly. Exactly.

So what would be one thing that you do to live content? Love well, or care without regrets?So many caregivers seem to have guilt, especially when it's over and I tell them, I truly have no guilt.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. Me either.

Pat Burkett: I have no regrets. I did the best I could under the circumstance. You're not gonna make a decision that's gonna change their outcome.

Rayna Neises: Yep.

Pat Burkett: And I could not have loved or cared for Don more than I did.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: So I have no, no regrets. And right now I'm in an unusual season for a woman my age. I'm a newly wed, God was so faithful to me. After Don died, I prayed. I would find a new man in my life and God provided a [00:24:00] wonderful husband for me. And I wake up and I think I, I am so blessed. This is an incredible gift that he has given me.

So I live with gratitude that God pulled me through some very tough times and I can be confident knowing that He can do that again. I

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: have no doubt, and that he has lovingly cared for me, placed me in a wonderful marriage. Dennis's children and his son-in-law and grandkids are just wonderful to me, so I have a great bonus family.

Rayna Neises: Yep.

Pat Burkett: Just very exciting. Great church. We both sold our homes. I lived in Northwest Wichita. Dennis lived in Arkansas City. We both sold our homes. Bought, one home in the Derby area and have just started a new life here.

Rayna Neises: Yeah. I love that because I think it's so important [00:25:00] to be able to grieve, which you did. Both while he was here and then once he was gone. But then to be able to have hope that there is life after.

Pat Burkett: Yes.

Rayna Neises: And unless we take care of ourselves and unless we learn to live without regret.

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: regret will turn into bitterness and we'll turn into ugliness then we don't have a life to live.

Pat Burkett: That's true.

Rayna Neises: then we can't look forward to what comes next. We can be blessed by what comes next whenever we take care of where we are now and we take care of ourselves. So I think that's really wise to to share, to be able to receive the gifts in the moment, and then later once you're in that other season, to be able to receive the gift that's

Pat Burkett: Yes,

Rayna Neises: to you then 

Pat Burkett: yes. He has been so faithful.

Rayna Neises: All right, we're wrapping up here. What would be one thing you would like to share with a caregiver who's maybe just starting [00:26:00] or in the trenches of caregiving right now?

Pat Burkett: You are gonna need people,

Rayna Neises: Hmm.

Pat Burkett: you cannot do this by yourself. People may offer, say, what can I do to help you? You may be so overwhelmed, you don't know, but one thing you are going to need people, I can confidently say that anyone who told that to me, I found something

Rayna Neises: i'm something to.

Pat Burkett: Yes. That's what my, my stepdaughter even told someone. She said, oh, Pat probably won't let anybody help her. Oh, yeah, she will. She will. Because you can't do this by yourself, and I don't know why you would want to. We were so blessed with friends, with neighbors. Our church was wonderful. Don had two men friends that he had breakfast with every week, [00:27:00] and they came, even when Don couldn't go anymore, a man invited him to be part of a new men's Bible study, and he went. And so I'm grateful for that, but just. Don't care what your house looks like. Don't care what you look like. You are gonna need people to come over. And I know many caregivers think, well, he's not gonna like that if I leave and someone comes and stays with him. Well, there just comes a time when you're gonna have to do it to be able to survive.

You are gonna have to be able to go to the grocery store by yourself. Or I had friends where I'd text and say, could I come over at. Eight 15 this morning, and then I'd show up at eight 15 and set my alarm for 35 minutes, and as soon as it'd go off, I'd have to run outta the house. You know, people didn't care. A group of women came and met at my house for a disciple group, [00:28:00] and you are just going to need them and be, be blessed by them.

Rayna Neises: Mm-hmm.

Pat Burkett: I've had many sweet times with friends and with family, especially in the last days with Don, that we could all share that his going home.

Rayna Neises: Such wisdom. I don't know what the barrier is to accepting help, and especially from those that have always been a part of your life. But get over it, whatever that barrier is, find a way to get over it. Allow people to love you.

Pat Burkett: Yes. 

Rayna Neises: in order to truly do that, we have to be vulnerable and admit that we need it. Sometimes I think it's more pride than anything else that we just think we can do it on our own or we don't want them to be uncomfortable or whatever. I don't know what the excuses are, but, um. Allow people to love you. Allow people to love the

Pat Burkett: Mm-hmm.

Rayna Neises: caring for, don't get in [00:29:00] the way of that. Years ago someone told me, when you tell someone no, when they wanna do something for you, you're robbing them of the blessing.

Pat Burkett: Exactly. 

Rayna Neises: I like to do things myself, but . No, they want to bless me. They want to do this. They're being blessed by doing this for me, I need to receive and just say thank you. I appreciate that reminder, Pat. I think it's really important. Thank you so much for visiting with me today and just sharing a little bit about Don and your journey and just how the Lord really blessed you.

Pat Burkett: Yes. Thank you.

Rayna Neises: Listeners, we thank you for joining us today for Stories of Hope with Pat on A Season of Caring Podcast where there is hope to live content, love well, and care without regrets.

If you have legal, financial, or medical questions, be sure to consult your local professionals and take heart in your season of caring ​[00:30:00]